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More Training Info > Mind-Body Words of Wisdom
Mind-Body Words of Wisdom
By Courtenay Schurman
Sometimes while coaching on-line clients over the phone, we both stumble across "ah-ha's" that help provide us with clarity. While we coach people primarily in the how-to's of training for adventure, we focus on an integrated approach that includes considerations of lifestyle, work, ingrained habits, injuries, and mindset.
Use the discussion of the six "keywords" below to motivate you in your daily conditioning practice. If you find that one of the words or ideas resonates more with you than another, write the word in capital letters on sticky notes that you can place above your rear view mirror, on the refrigerator, in the bathroom, at the desk, anywhere that will remind you of what you are trying to incorporate into your daily habits.
Kindness:
This word is profound to me on so many levels: having kindness toward your neighbors, family members, colleagues, children, animals, yes, but most importantly--TO YOURSELF. If you miss a workout, don't berate or punish yourself, simply get back on the horse the next day. If you don't reach your climbing goal, accept that you likely did the best you could, given life's circumstances, and plan to try again. If you break a bone because you neglected a safety piece of equipment, or strain a muscle because you short-cut your warm-up, rather than kicking yourself when you are already down, STEP BACK as though you are your own child, and treat yourself as you would that innocent kid looking to you for advice and wisdom. Kindness and gentle hands get far better response than punishment or the iron death grip.
Calmness:
Whether you just flipped your lid because your child spilled sticky soda all over the new chair, or you are suspended 30 feet above solid ground and you are doubtful that your protection will hold if you fall, you need to remain calm and grounded so that you can get yourself out of the current jam. One of the best ways to do this is to take several deep, soothing breaths, which not only gives you the oxygen you need (especially if you're in any sort of tricky physical situation that is causing you to hyperventilate) but also gives you a moment's pause to help your mind to regroup, distance yourself from the "flipped lid" syndrome, and approach the moment with more resources than if you are acting from a place of distress.
When the steep drop-off gets to you mentally, look away, concentrate on where you are in the moment, and take deep breaths. When the pull-ups or push-ups you are facing seem virtually impossible, breathe deeply, trust that you will do your best, and give it your all. When your screaming child is driving you nuts, try to drop your shoulders, recall (in your improving state) from your parenting class that the screaming likely means the child is in desperate need of SOMETHING (even if that means momentary attention), remember that this, too, shall pass, and breathe deeply before you do anything else. Yoga is wonderful at teaching centering, mindfulness, and breathing. Focusing on your inhalations and exhalations forces you to stay in the moment, and through that calmed center, you can approach anything with far more resources.
Courage:
You probably know the Serenity Prayer by heart (Reinhold Niebuhr):
"...grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and
the wisdom to know the difference."
First off, NO, I'm not religious in the least; however, even I know the basic meaning of that memorized group of words. The power therein is first recognizing what is out of your control and letting go of efforts to try to change them, as such efforts will expend valuable energy and be pretty much wasted effort; being brave enough to make those hard changes that you can, and having enough life experience--and perhaps even outside help--to determine what is worth changing for good.
Changing bad habits fall under the umbrella of "courage to change and wisdom to realize it." If you find yourself standing in front of the refrigerator mind-numbingly stuffing food in your face, you can CHANGE that bad HABIT if you first understand that it IS a bad habit, and then cultivate the courage to do something about it. IT IS HARD. BUT IT IS WORTH IT.
Some of what I do with in-person and on-line clients is supply them with strategies to tackle such challenges. With friends, colleagues, a mentor and coach behind you, each one knowing that you are struggling but doing your best, sometimes it is just enough to give you the courage you need to make hard habits die a slow death and new, healthier habits sprout in their place.
Compassion:
Much like "kindness" above, compassion means using love, empathy, and sympathy toward yourself, in whatever struggle you are facing. If your body refuses to get past the first few stages of rehabilitation, cursing it and staying angry with it won't help it heal. Acceptance wherever you are and acknowledgement that you are struggling--AND IT'S OKAY--are powerful tools that will let your body and mind heal and move forward.
It is no fun to be injured or hurting, but by recognizing that YOU ARE LOVABLE no matter what your accomplishments, size, strengths and weaknesses--simply because you EXIST--will go far toward self-acceptance and peace during any struggle. This is a hard lesson to master, but if you keep these ideas in mind and realize that EVERY single living being on the planet has to confront some sort of struggle, perhaps it will be easier. Would you trade YOUR struggles?
Focus:
Many times people are able to focus during their work or workouts and then "shut off" during leisure. Cultivating mindfulness, or being present in the moment, takes a lifetime of effort but is worth it to try to pay attention to what you are doing as often as possible, especially if you have a bad habit you wish to change.
If you have several drinks at night to "take the edge off," you are in essence shutting down your ability to be mindful; if you eat chips or cookies because you have an overly emotional reaction to something, you're smothering your emotions and making it harder to listen to your body's signals.
If you realize while standing in front of the refrigerator that you may really be legitimately hungry, then prepare yourself a nice place setting so you can serve some food up as a real meal (kindness). Take deep breaths and get in touch with whether your body REALLY needs food, or something else (calmness). If you recognize that you're NOT hungry, but you need something and you don't know what, shut the door and leave the kitchen (courage.) Realize that you are facing a struggle and see if there is anything else that might help more (compassion.) Pay attention to how your body is feeling (focus.) Is there pain in the heart? gurgling in the stomach? anger coursing through your veins? Pay attention.
By spending time focusing on those habits you don't like, and what you want to do about them, you are taking the first step toward change. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Focus on the problem, concentrate on what you are doing to change the situation, and make those mindful changes with kindness, calmness, courage and compassion.
Expectations:
Finally, another gem came to us in a call a few weeks ago:
"The sun radiates and shines and expects nothing in return."
Perhaps you have someone in your life who seems to have plenty of answers, who leaves you feeling better about yourself, and who always cheers you up when you need it. As trainers, we try hard to show people the correct paths to take to succeed on their journeys and adventures. All we expect in return is that people will find it within themselves to do their very best to follow the plans set out for them, as well as to listen carefully to what their bodies are telling them as they go through the training.
What are your expectations for yourself? Do they include conquering the world, or just a peak? Do they involve fitting into the size 4 jeans you wore in high school or college, or feeling more energized to play with your kids or grandkids? Can you see that just by being YOURSELF, you radiate energy to the world? You are okay exactly the way you are, whether you have high or low expectations for yourself. We NEVER expect that all of our clients will reach their summits (though that would sure be nice) but we DO expect that we will do the very best we can to prepare them well, and all we ask is that you give it your best effort in return. Let these gems shine as they can for whomever finds them to be helpful.
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